Sometimes It’s Just Too Much
Sometimes it’s just too much.
I know this COVID experience has been an exercise in boredom for some. Personally, it feels like running a marathon while juggling chainsaws after being lit on fire… with bulls chasing me. Perhaps I’m being a bit dramatic so, uh, scratch the bulls.
Let me set the scene for you: today I graduated with my doctorate but I couldn’t make the ceremony because of travel bans, and I couldn’t watch the ceremony online because I was in the middle of an emergency checkup at the doctor’s office (I’m OK thanks for asking). This was the least dramatic part of my day. In fact, my nap on the plastic table with the loud paper was one the most peaceful moments I experienced all week. Perhaps the most dramatic part of my day had to do with my wife’s recovery from vascular surgery (her second in eight days), or when she got her hair done for the first time in months, or maybe when my son had three teeth extracted, or when I coordinated the home-schooling of three individual children and experienced four overlapping zoom calls in one hour… but it’s hard to say in a moment like this. I’m not just bragging about how stressful my day was (perhaps a little bit), but I am learning something in the midst of this chaos.
I’m a winner, I like to win. So, I ask myself, what do champions do in moments like this? I have some ideas. But how do champions behave for days, weeks, or months like this? I’m not so sure.
I have been learning how to trust God more. I know that sounds very religious but here is something your pastor won’t tell you: trusting God can be exhausting. Casting your cares upon the LORD can be a lot of work, especially when you have so many cares to cast!
““Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
Belief is a spiritual discipline. Faith is not a magic wand you get to wave at all your problems. The problems still hurt, still injure, and still weigh you down. But if you can trust God with your daily life, then the hurt can heal, the injury won’t kill, and the weight will be lifted. I promise you that many Jesus followers walk with a limp, but they keep walking. Just like Peter told us, we must be humble, trust in God’s timing, and remember that he loves us. Every Jesus-person can do this through the “power of the Holy Spirit who equips us to outrun bulls while juggling chainsaws on fire (paraphrase me).”
You may be experiencing your own “it’s just too much” day. Know that it’s OK. Know that Jesus wants to carry some of the load for you. And know that passing that baton can still be a lot of work. But despite all the weariness, He walks with us (cue Kanye). We are not alone, and even if we get out of this scrap with a few scars, our souls are fully mended.