Carefully Care Less
Cultivating Identity in Community
We need to carefully care less. Not less about people, but less about what people think. When we anchor our identity in others’ perceptions, we become slaves to approval, constantly adjusting ourselves to match what we imagine others expect. This is a distorted mirror that reflects neither truth nor health.
The paradox is this: healthy community requires healthy individuals who know themselves apart from the group. Your true self strengthens the community; your false self weakens it. As Dallas Willard notes, “The greatest need you and I have is to be in union with God as a part of his people.” This union grounds us in something deeper than social performance.
“The greatest need you and I have is to be in union with God as a part of his people.”
The Apostle Paul understood this tension: “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10). As Christians, we believe our identity in Christ reflects the truest version of ourselves, not the version we perform for others.
Carefully detach your identity from external validation. Carefully discover your true self. This is not selfishness but stewardship. The people counting on you need the real you, not the anxious version constantly seeking approval. True love flows from secure identity, not from desperate need.